What in the world makes you believe that I would just hug anyone? Being a woman, it means experiencing my breasts touching another person’s chest. I like to keep that for close friends and special connections. The new age communities in which everyone hugs everyone might fulfill a need of touch, but not necessarily a need of true intimacy, love, respect and being seen. It might give a sense of belonging. But if there is no true connection between two people is there really belonging? Belonging in my world, means belonging to a bigger whole, to the universe at large, not necessarily to the human species. Even though teachers have tried to convince me of such.
What about respect? The year of Covid, in which each encounter was intentional offered me more intimacy than those random hugs in community space. The respect for Covid and people’s sensitivities extended into an understanding of asking before hugging, “Do you hug?” This offers a choice and an easy respectful way out. Sometimes it’s the person. Sometimes it’s the moment. Some days are more sensitives, others are more outgoing. Gosh, I am in a woman’s world. Each day, each moment is different. There are no rules, no generalisations in a woman’s world. Today, I might enjoy receiving and giving you a hug, tomorrow I might not .Within that year of Covid, we understood that. Why do we suddenly lose that newly gained respect for personal space?
Are you affirming and enforcing the space you would like to have? This goes both ways? Are you asking for a hug when you need it? Are you asking for space when you prefer a personal moment?
May you have the courage to ask for what you need.